Get all 12 Fanaticus releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of ILTS, DrunkenFistRaps LP, Hang On Noosey ft. Davis the Dorchester Bully, Care (PUPIL's Song), Cloudy Boi Tapes Vol. 1, Forever, No Hook, SadderDazed, and 4 more.
1. |
Work Out
02:55
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Man the shit's been bent, thinking to myself how I'm going to pay rent
When the pay check's spent on weed that's meant
To get me lifted, shit it's back to business
See, I'm trying to get my mind right
So I gotta go ghost riding like the dark knight
Always ready for the fight one day it'll end
Bet I'll need two cents wondering what's next
I'm undecided
Thinking to myself who I'm a go ride with
Till the time comes I shouldn't worry 'bout it
Because the universe always has its ways
To make my day, to make things great
So I light this joint and I find my way
'Cause somewhere in the air there's a place for me
And you know I'm there, peace
It'll work out, gotta have faith everything will work out
Gotta have faith that it won't go south
I been working hard trying to make it all count
I been trying to make sure everything will work out
If you ain't know then, well shit you know now
That everything around us will work out, everything around us it'll work out, hey
And i'm looking in the mirror, a clearer version of who I should be
Man I'm having night terrors, whether or not that an omen, shit we'll see
If you really got the time, go and find everything that you know you'll need
It's really crazy lately everything is really how it should just be
Or maybe I am reading into things too deep
Or maybe everything is never really what it seems
I been running circles, jumping hurdles, Stephen Urkle is the level I've been at it I been on it for weeks
Experimenting on another level but the death is a rebel trying to bring me to the bottomless seat
But I know I'm at a higher peak, so I'm a go seek
And find a piece of what I really do need, my peace
It'll work out, gotta have faith everything will work out
Gotta have faith that it won't go south
I been working hard trying to make it all count
I been trying to make sure everything will work out
If you ain't know then, well shit you know now
That everything around us will work out, everything around us it'll work out, hey
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2. |
Dear B
02:35
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Sittin' here trying to write a song about you
Texting you like we was back in high school
Playing with my mind I'm feeling vocal
When you get your nail's done, paint 'em purple
Purple haze for the days I ain't with you
Rainy days make me crave for your touch you make me quiver
So insane how the fame make you wanna go deliver
History enough to make a boil out of simmers
Chose a winner every time them hips swing, left a nigga shook
Back in second grade, you would challenge me to read them books
All this reminiscing got me feeling like I'm on a hook
Girl you so dope, made me change my outlook
I should've fell in love with B
Used to always say that she could read them books faster than me
She damn near read the whole library
I shouldn't have had that long island iced tea
Because i'm thinking I should call you 'cause i'm feeling tipsy
I should've fell in love with B
When she had that nose ring
Back in 9th grade, when we'd talk all through history
Now we feeling ourselves, shouldn't have had the hennessy
'Cause I wanna get you home and get you in between my sheets, yeah
Sittin' here trying to make a riff on this guitar
Knowing I'm no player, so I ain't getting far
Thinking I could woo you if I play a part
Knowing already you looking at me like a star
They tell me keep your heart three stacks, keep your heart
Man, these girls is smart three stacks, these girls is smart
Society been telling me celibacy ain't a start
Love and lust has got me feeling like I need to bark
I'm a dog, well trained to make my thoughts art
Ableton my station I'm making a flow chart
Patient for your face to be blessing me, don't depart
Arriving with some tension and passion it's from the heart, it's from the heart
I should've fell in love with B
Used to always say that she could read them books faster than me
She damn near read the whole library
I shouldn't have had that long island iced tea
Because i'm thinking I should call you 'cause i'm feeling tipsy
I should've fell in love with B
When she had that nose ring
Back in 9th grade, when we'd talk all through history
Now we feeling ourselves, shouldn't have had the hennessy
'Cause I wanna get you home and get you in between my sheets, yeah
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3. |
Mars (Life)
03:22
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uh, uh, Jamil on the beat, aye
So let me paint a picture, another civil sinner
Indulge in greed and laziness I never was descriptive
Or maybe I was lying, to keep myself in hiding
I fear the demons in my life I hope I never find them
Designed to realize when, the beat is steady vibing
I keep a groove in my pocket, I got the bass wylin'
Make space for the time and place, where you gravitate
Don't waste, steady (Levitate) and keep your ego, don't inflate
I struggled with the music, I was living clueless
Shit I remember back in summer 2013
On my own, so free Trying to be a Young King
Bumping "Anything in Return" inside a Camry
I fleed to the city, I'm hoping someone hears me
Maybe rap into a megaphone so you can hear me
While you're busy filming all these memories
Please just promise me, you won't live your life through a screen
Said what you'll find, ain't out of line
Just remember time, ain't on your side
You gotta see all the mountains, climb so high
You gotta see Frank Ocean with the flashing lights
Yeah this world, is full of life
Shit, I used to dream about you
Had dreams at night that had you, my queen
I'm grateful for the time without you
Unrequited love a bitch and that's a shame
Everything I learned in turn I used to save me
Aiming, shooting for the life I need I'm crazy
Saying things, show me what you need and that you're changing
Lately, I ain't been the same
I graduated college but I'm still making minimum wage
Said I ain't blaming the economy
Shit I ain't got it figured out yet I been waiting
But what's this waiting gonna do for me
I gotta get up off my ass, fulfill the prophecy
See life is honestly a balance of duality
I'm trippin' this reality is filled with Trump's fallacies
Casually teaching racism and fear
This world will be better if you just disappear, for real
Said what you'll find, ain't out of line
Just remember time, ain't on your side
You gotta see all the mountains, climb so high
You gotta see Frank Ocean with the flashing lights
Yeah this world, is full of life
Said what you'll find, ain't out of line
Just remember time, ain't on your side
You gotta see all the mountains, climb so high
You gotta see Frank Ocean with the flashing lights
Yeah this world, is full of life
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4. |
Over It
03:20
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Started from this nothing then we grew to something
Hoping what I'm feeling leads to growing substance
Momma always had me hold the door wide open
No matter who was coming courtesy returning I was learning
Chivalry will show you you became a man
Regardless if your father there or not, there was a plan
Defend the patriarchy all I knew back then
Went and saw some more and then I changed my stance
Show your hands, always wanted bands, want to go and dance
Smoke a wood then hop up in the van, go and see the land
Touring taking pictures with some fans, go play with the band
Come back to reality you searching from a pizza pan
Know one day that everything will change, cocking back I aim
Farther than the stars and anything that you can see today
Maybe saving pennies will come back to be a blessing aye
Got a second call about my work I'm steeping out the rain
I'm over all this pain, sunshine here to stay
I won't be on my same shit, wandering Earth so aimless
Hoping that somebody will come up and give me change
Hoping that tomorrow don't seem so fain't, I'm over all this pain
Sunshine here to stay, I won't be on my same shit, wandering Earth so aimless
Hoping that somebody will come up and see the change
Hoping that tomorrow don't seem so faint
And now I'm wondering how I went from 17 to 23
Found Fanaticus when I was writing 'bout my dreams
Everything had changed when I saw my big brother Cudi
Said I'm from the 'Ville but Mr. Rager kept on walking
Six years later wondering who I am
I'm rapping on this stage like I'm the fucking man
I hope the message still the same when I get settled in my lane
I used to think I was a lame
I need this Yin balance out this Yang
Fuck that bullshit that you saying, free myself from all these chains I'll cut my baggage loose
Then I became a different mane (Shout out Terrance Howard)
I'm over all this pain, sunshine here to stay
I won't be on my same shit, wandering Earth so aimless
Hoping that somebody will come up and give me change
Hoping that tomorrow don't seem so fain't, I'm over all this pain
Sunshine here to stay, I won't be on my same shit, wandering Earth so aimless
Hoping that somebody will come up and see the change
Hoping that tomorrow don't seem so faint
And maybe I am just expecting too much out of people
Maybe I am hoping that we all just treated equal
Maybe I just want all my homies out living regal
Maybe everything is simulated good and evil
Maybe I am just expecting too much out of people
Maybe I am hoping that we all just treated equal
Maybe I just want all my homies out living regal
Maybe everything is simulated good and evil
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5. |
Go Eat (Falling)
02:42
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It's something about flying up in the clouds
It makes you forget about everything around
It makes you forget about what's in the town
With the calm and the cool in my seat, I'm bound
To a destination, I guess I came with
A broken heart that bleeds on pavement
A battered soul, with a piece of patience
I keep a book full of open pages
An open mind, got to find the time
To make the moves, don't wait in line
Take what's yours, don't be waiting for signs
The universe is yours, don't get left behind, I'm
In a race to find, the meaning in the void combined
The universe so vast it don't feel divine
'Cause we been on our own like we committed a crime
A cosmic crime, now we behind these bars
Isolated in a field of stars
It's funny how we think we know who we are
While the aliens be watching us from Mars, Yeah
I'm trying to shine so big just like Alpha Centauri
Come from the 'Ville not up the hill and no one else here before me
I'm trying to make my name a living and I'm only getting started
I'm trying to eat but all these gluttons got a nigga starving
Defeat my demons with this sword just call me Finn man I'm on it
An elemental hero heart I swear I'm just like a Martian
I fell in love and she a Leo, shit I don't think she'll call me
A flame princess 'cause emotion got you fired up shorty
Ain't nobody going to take me down, shit
I just want to wear that crown
Trying to be deserving of the meaning I've found
I'm a make this sound, go and play this out
Yeah, go and play this out
Trying to be a legend up against them crowds
I'm a sing and shout 'till my lungs give out
I ain't never headed south, finna get it I'm bound
If you don't know my name, don't give me dap or pounds
I been down and out too many times to count
And that's word to Cudi, he led me off the ground
A nigga been around, I ain't been Earth bound
Stunting on my haters they won't face me now
So complacent (wow) How you feel just bounce
I'ma play this out, so let me sing it now
How you feeling (Wow) Just ride and bounce, yeah
I'm trying to shine so big just like Alpha Centauri
Come from the 'Ville not up the hill and no one else here before me
I'm trying to make my name a living and I'm only getting started
I'm trying to eat but all these gluttons got a nigga starving
I'm trying to shine so big just like Alpha Centauri
Come from the 'Ville not up the hill and no one else here before me
I'm trying to make my name a living and I'm only getting started
I'm trying to eat but all these gluttons got a nigga starving
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6. |
All Alone
02:13
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And you left me all alone, all alone
I just want to take you home, take you home,
I want to hear your pretty voice instead of texting on the phone
Girl you been my everything, this love is all I've ever known, yeah
Something about the way your beauty leave the room inside a state
Way you take the reins and go to say the things you need to say
On a mission but I got a feeling you don't feel the same
That you did when I met you way back in 12th grade
Thinking about a (Place)
Trying to be o-(kay)
Watch adventure time or see the homies then we (bake)
Used to call you (Baby)
Now i'm going (Crazy)
I just want you back inside my life am I in-(sane)
And it ain't no fun when I run
Tryna find you when you're gone, I wanna jump
And I hope you don't think I'm always wanting some
If I ain't got your love, then I'm always feeling numb
And you left me all alone, all alone
I just want to take you home, take you home,
I want to know just how you're feeling when you're saying nothing wrong
Girl you been my everything, this love is all I've ever known, yeah
I used to write so many songs about you
Until my cup was half full
It's still the same ain't nothing changed I still write songs about you
So many years without you
How could I breathe without you
I guess I'll learn I know it burns I know in time I'll be cool
And I need you to love me better
Like in April when we had Stormy weather
When I used to drip the wax on your letters
Wrote on the pages my love's forever
And you left me all alone, all alone
I just want to take you home, take you home,
I want to know just how you're feeling when you're saying nothing wrong
Girl you been my everything, this love is all I've ever known, yeah
I'm feeling all alone, all alone
Your love is all I've known, all I've known
Your love is all I've known, all I've known
And now I'm all alone, all alone
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7. |
Seasons
03:19
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Homies faker than their cover
They act like they're your brother
Talking all that shit, better stay above water
Focused on the road that's upon us, 'cause
Summer coming up quick, you read me wrong if you trying to hit a lick
I'm in too deep, I ain't ever gonna quit
I need that OG, yeah you know it's my fix, yeah
Okay I'm feeling like I need another drop
In the city all I see is cops
I just wanna make it to the top
See me in your city and you know we finna rock
I just wanna go, I don't really want to stop
And I'm finna go in, like I'm finna beat box
Calling me the MC, girl you trying to P-Pop
And I'ma mark you up, like I'm tagging on the block (Say you not)
What's the difference if I wasn't wishing that I had all these girls in my visions
Thought that mission of this vision was to make a change, or some shit then
When you young and dumb with no voice, a microphone seem like a dope choice
But there ain't no food on my plate, don't wait for the shit you want, you gotta take it
I'm aimed with consciousness I got this knowledge, call it prowess
Got complacent in my head, tripped out once then I had an ego death
Maybe all my secrets kept became some trauma, then I wept
Got some stories and some beats, I'll mic it up then write my speech, aye
Homies faker than their cover
They act like they're your brother
Talking all that shit, better stay above water
Focused on the road that's upon us, 'cause
Summer coming up quick, you read me wrong if you trying to hit a lick
I'm in too deep, I ain't ever gonna quit
I need that OG, yeah you know it's my fix, yeah
Yeah we so focused on this potion, I been hoping that this won't end
Medicate my fate, I knew me better than you did, as of late
I ain't finna hit your phone with a complaint, know it ain't what you say it's how you say it
I'm feeling better than I did in the basement
No front plates on the car while I'm faded
I need two O's in my life, scratch that three O's in my life
Fuck that, Q-P still light, ain't flipping I'm just trying to take flight
Two blunts won't do, it ain't right
Trying to grow like a chia when I write
Lightbulb idea shine bright
Know that I ain't going without a fight
Yeah they try to find a way to separate us from our fate
But the universe will tell you if you're ready for the day
Steady training every morning for the work
Writing all these fucking lines, trying to think of what to say
Deja Vu, I had a dream about this day
Finishing the verse with some finesse for all the fakes
Got another message from them haters in the back
Fuck you, Pay me, bring the shit back nigga
Homies faker than their cover
They act like they're your brother
Talking all that shit, better stay above water
Focused on the road that's upon us, 'cause
Summer coming up quick, you read me wrong if you trying to hit a lick
I'm in too deep, I ain't ever gonna quit
I need that OG, yeah you know it's my fix, yeah
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8. |
Love Me Better
03:11
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It's been a minute I been way below ground
I been trying to better for you, but all I've found
Is that you say you will, oh you say you will
Then again I made a promise to be better for real
I been working so hard, I've been trying to make steel, so what's the deal
Normally I'm never caught up in my feelings
But things been hard and my heart's been spilling
With the glass half full, but you say it's half empty
Laying in my bed, baby girl don't tempt me
You know I put the work in even though I've been stressing
But I can't hold on when you being so selfish
I can't help this, anymore
Every time you come around my heart drops to the floor
You know you hurt me right down to the core
And every time I want to leave I can't shut that door
I never know what to do anymore
You know I'm so sick of fighting this war
And these feelings I can't ignore, so listen baby
I need you to love me better
I need you to love me better
Why can't you just love me better
Why can't you just love me better
My life's changing, while you're complacent
Other men running after my baby
I guess what I had wasn't enough
Compared to these niggas that are trying to fuck
But I'm gone, I've been on
Trying to find a better way to be strong
And she's telling me she wants to be on
Just like the old times, get the fuck on
Yeah and I ain't messing with the bullshit
Who the fuck are you with
Telling me you love me but you know you out here choosing
And I ain't ruthless, I ain't got to prove shit
Treated you just like a queen and you knew this
I was committed to you, and the music
But now I'm done with you, I need some new shit
I need somebody that'll be there if I lose it
Onto better things now, I'm moving
I'm moving on, but something's wrong and I can't be gone
I don't know what it could be every time you're with me
The world will stop turning, and I feel I know that everything
Stops for a minute, and I'm wishing
That the second time around will be different
And I'm ready to restart if you're with it, but baby
I need you to love me better
I need you to love me better
Why can't you just love me better
Why can't you just love me better
I need you to love me better
I need you to love me better
Why can't you just love me better
Why can't you just love me better
I need better
I need better
I need better
I need better
I need better
I need better
I need better
I need better
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9. |
Shining
03:24
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Just hold on tighter
The moon gets brighter
You'll shine like Michael
But it doesn't matter
okay
Loathing from decisions that I've made within addiction
All these pharmaceuticals, they say that something missing
All my life mistaken, truth with eggs and bacon
Mental illness killing sanity, I hear them singing
Jimmy's got a gun, aye, Jimmy's got a gun, aye
Don't let the police see you, they going to say he got a gun, aye
Empty bullets on them like they're doing it for fun, aye,
Real life C-O-D and it don't end 'cause no one won, aye
Visions of my death is something I just really want to escape
Keep them demons all away, burn them down then take a break
Just hold on tighter
The moon gets brighter
You'll shine like Michael
But it doesn't matter
The pain keeps reaching
I keep on singing
The stars are shining
That's where I'm climbing
I got this feeling in my stomach that my doom is finna come in
I'm boarding home at six in the morning, the sun is rising
I'm crashing bumping Swimming, I'm just made I made a scene
Ended up in the E-R, I was on that couch for some goddamn weeks
And I couldn't sleep, it was in my dreams that I could've died, I just want to sleep
If it keep me up what it all going to mean (if it keep me up what it all going to mean)
If I crash and burn with they all goin' see (If I crash and burn will they all goin' see)
But I know that life is just a lease, oh, oh
Just hold on tighter
The moon gets brighter
You'll shine like Michael
But it doesn't matter
The pain keeps reaching
I keep on singing
The stars are shining
That's where I'm climbing
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, okay
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, hold up
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, okay
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, hold up
I just want to be free, I can't go back, I just need to leave
'Cause I know the pain keep killing me
Man I can't keep up, I can hardly breathe, man I hope you see
I just want to be free, I can't go back I just need to leave
My heart go black, man it's six feet deep
And I can't keep up, I can hardly breathe
So what's the point in seeing when you're feeling everything you see
Stay so temporary, hope you're hearing everything from me
Drink this Hennessy with Perc's and lean I hope my heart it cease
Bet nobody know the pain inside my brain, just need some peace, please
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, okay
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, hold up
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, okay
My tragedy my masterpiece
My tragedy my masterpiece, hold up
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10. |
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Tell me all about your fantasies
All about your life dreams
It's in the stars after all, is what I would believe
But life is hard, live through the loss
A better day, a new way to take charge is here tomorrow
So do you follow
Okay I'm yearning for your touch I feel I'm burning like a crutch
When a joint become some ashes, hope the roach don't burn my mattress
Actress shit, I don't need one
I'll drop you like them Seasons
Them pics on Instagram depict a story but I'm feeling
that there's more to the shutter between the lens and the mother-board
All the time between us pictures only speak a thousand words
I'm trying to hear a million stories 'bout the life I know you've earned
Time has burned bridges but I'll build them up and then return
Tell me all about your fantasies
All about your life dreams
It's in the stars after all, is what I would believe
But life is hard, live through the loss
A better day, a new way to take charge is here tomorrow
So do you follow
So do you follow
Remember rainy days, you would come and stay
Blessing me with faith, every night I pray that your love will pave
Roads to the day vows will be exchanged
Children run and play, never take away everything you gave me
I'm wishing for a saving grace, I wonder if you pace
Mind will steady race when I don't embrace you
It got me feeling so blue, you used to be my soul food
I used to think I knew you, but now I'm sure I've lost you
I close my eyes sometimes and in my mind it all rewinds
Remember all the times I'd never want to say goodbye
I laid in your bed, fading in and out to your heartbeat
I try to speak, but I'm lost inside affection that we seek
Playing with my hair, subtly know you're still there
Now I'm laying in bed, some years later wishing you'd still be here
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11. |
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This some like, 2012 shit
It's only right
I could've dreamed I had the past back
Running circles around the memories I had that
I been wishing for some change, where it start at
Got a vision of utopia I'm past that, I guess a flashback
Will paint a picture that's so vivid, I'm a run laps
Pace that, trying to get the feeling that I had back
Don't lack, ready for whatever I'm a clap back
Cash that token, I'm a grind 'cause I'm chosen
I'm a star in the moment
I'm a get it while I'm sipping on my potion
I been ready ever since I been floating
Blue dream spark a dream, shit I'm open
Spark a blunt for inspiration that's the motion
Eyes is heavy while it's written, what is spoken
Got a feeling that you do this shit often, so what's it costing
You better close the damn coffin
I ain't in Boston, this ain't no tea party
But we need a revolution and my service spotty
The revolution will be televised and streamed shorty
And you can't call me if the weather shotty
Just come over, get the message started
I ain't writing sober 'cause the pain be costing
Come and see this office, say the world is flawless
I ain't speaking for myself I need to hear your thoughts
So what you on with
I really knew that you the one, I was ready
Counting from the days to the months we was steady
Couldn't think about a life without you, sun setting
Bullet in my brain, if you don't want me why you message
Told myself I'd never love another in this world like you
Goddamn, I should've knew I was a tool
But hindsight 20/20 like that
I'm finna keep going, even if I gotta cap, yeah
I got to cap to live 'cause I ain't past the shit
I'm finna face a Backwoods 'till I'm off the shits
I need a bunch of fucking O's, make me paper rich
Because my mind so sharp I was born for this
You ever been equipped
With some knowledge to spit
You ever wonder about a life where you don't need a fix, shit
I don't mind, we can share the spliff
Contemplating 'bout the universe, a cosmic riff
Split into the darkness, I'm so exhausted
I planned a life around you when the sparks hit
And now I'm thoughtless, if I'm being honest
I smoke the pain away, the studio my office
I'm finna off this, I keep my heart split
'Cause all you ever want to do is kill my dreams
Chasing all these memories I wonder what it means
So I'm coughing up the tar, trying to stop the bleed in me
I really knew that you the one, I was ready
Counting from the days to the months we was steady
Couldn't think about a life without you, sun setting
Bullet in my brain, if you don't want me why you message
Told myself I'd never love another in this world like you
Goddamn, I should've knew I was a tool
But hindsight 20/20 like that
I'm finna keep going, even if I gotta cap, yeah
Overdosed all alone in my apartment
Only way that I can fix this broken heart, and
Sleeping pills give me comfort like 2012 and
I pray my death be painless
I'm sick of living aimless, help me
I know that I can't breathe
Because the pain of love is suffocating me
I wonder if you ever notice what you did to me
And now my heart it bleeds
I took a year off to get right
Disappeared in the summer, woke through the night
R.I.P. Cam Rellim, hope you see the light
I'm a show them all the Faces, yeah we finna fight
We was kids, I was wishing for the best day ever
Then I took some vitamins, it's Macadelic weather
Blue slide park, got a heart you can't measure
I been watching movies with the sound off for the pleasure
Yeah I bet you better than the last time
I'm finna kiss her good morning with the sunshine
Wasn't laying in my bed, where the fuck am I
Still dark, couldn't sleep, I just want to find
A little peace another heaven, what's behind my eyes
DMT it will release inside a dream of mine
You appear I see it clear, but you leave me dry
Got shot in the head waking up I cry, man fuck this
Last night, dreamed I had the past back
Had shorty in my arms, that's a flashback
I need her right now, need a flash pass
I'm hopping in the Porsche with the top back
And every night I blow clouds hoping that I don't dream
Got me at the Lord's door, I just really want to scream
Let 'em know if he going to take me, let it be in my sleep
Without your love it's pain when I breathe, free me please lord
Overdosed all alone in my apartment
Only way that I can fix this broken heart, and
Sleeping pills give me comfort like 2012 and
I pray my death be painless
I'm sick of living aimless, help me
I know that I can't breathe
Because the pain of love is suffocating me
I wonder if you ever notice what you did to me
And now my heart it bleeds
Bloody knuckles 'cause I'm feeling shit
Too damn numb, why I ain't feeling shit
Thinking 'bout hurting so I can feel some shit
So lost, never thought 'bout feeling shit
This aimless line I walk inside I do that on my own
Constructive criticism's nice but advice is mostly just wrong
This path is for me all alone, my own faults I must atone
So I bleed it out with this ink, these faces I'm not recognizing
I don't know this man in the mirror
So stained so I'm trying to see it clearer
Feeling negative (Three K)
Next to Andre (Three K)
So cold, typing this makes my fingers hurt
Work, myself just needs the help
Not trying to fall back in the trap
But these demons always fighting me
They always stay doing that
Wanna just quit and take this nap, just smoke this J don't write no raps
Disappear from everything, never make it back
R.I.P. Chester, and Rest Easy Mac like
Overdosed all alone in my apartment
Only way that I can fix this broken heart, and
Sleeping pills give me comfort like 2012 and
I pray my death be painless
I'm sick of living aimless, help me
I know that I can't breathe
Because the pain of love is suffocating me
I wonder if you ever notice what you did to me
And now my heart it bleeds
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12. |
4:00 AM
04:10
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It's Four AM and I can't sleep
My mind is busy I can't seem
To clear my head of my issues
So I can rest and continue
My mission looking for virtue inside a world that's so hurtful
How should I do it, I'm a keep moving
Beyond the center of the lesson I'm hoping there's a blessing
Nobody seems to be catching all of these messages sending
To everybody, I'm sorry, no need to answer who's calling
No need for iPhone's to see the galaxy
I hope you're ready for everything inside of me
To show you who I am, don't need a plan
This life a weird game and I ain't trying to see the end
So who are all your friends, they somebody who could go without you
Or is there someone in your life who just can't live without you
See I got questions, hoping that you could answer
I wonder where we'll both be, a look inside the future the universe is waiting
Waiting in line for my turn
Go let the Backwood burn, I'm trying to talk it out
Figuring what you all about
I'm trying to see what you been doing since you all around
You got a vision, truly something somebody's missing
And you want change in the world, you know it's never given
You working hard for the world to see your special mission
Bring out the light inside of us, that's what we need I'm feeling
You got this down, everything you need you bring it out
And yeah, nobody brings you down sometimes, I know you're human
But to me you're just a goddess in the making
I'm saving myself for you, how could you defend the truth?
Be the calling you needed when you was feeling defeated
I'm trying to see what you bringing inside a world full of demons
Everyone afraid of confrontation, so complacent of their status
But little do they know this life is ours, we just need to grab it
So go on, tell me what you see
Go and paint a picture pretty please
You feeling Picasso, what a treat
Hold up, I'm just trying to catch the beat
Lost on my own that's a feat, I'm trying to get on my feet
I just be cautious of freaks, I'm trying to keep it discreet
If you're feeling lost in the moment don't accept a defeat
Hold onto the truth, don't ever lose focus
Counting my days on my back, Kids these days have been hoping
That our spaceship will take off, and no I ain't returning
We all just trying to get up on that six figure earning
But I'm shooting for seven, my nigga catch me I'm swerving
Whipping a Tesla forever 'cause my future ain't certain
Caught in a vibe one more time because I know it will keep me from hurting
Fixing myself, better myself I think I'll need a permit
I'm finna love on myself again like damn, you really deserve this
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13. |
Say Less (6:00 AM)
03:14
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I'm just really trying to figure it out
Every step that I'm taking be full of doubt
You in a rush to be heard through all the sound
While everything feeling like you deep in the clouds, yeah
Complacent with decisions you've made
Are you happy now, or you finna take your fade
It's okay if you ain't found a way
Take your time and let go of the pain
Eat some food and then take a break
Drink some coffee sit back and thank
Ride the motions, hope my love don't fade
She can tell that my soul been trying to be saved, yeah
I just really wanna be self made
Bipolar got me feeling like a slave
They be saying that my mind strong, but when I'm going through it, they don't care what's wrong
So I'm rolling stoned, Shout out Rich Jones
First joint that I smoked inside the blue room
Yet I knew they ain't fuck with me
But them sine waves make a beautiful symphony
Hit them keys, it's true polyphony
I'm just trying to find a way in simplicity
Daydreaming 'bout a girl that's kissing me
Until then, it's white wine while we hit them trees, yeah
Said I keep trying, I keep trying, but I ain't getting far
I took my time and did the steps so I can climb to the stars
But it ain't worth it, still looking for a purpose
too busy working, to explore the Earth so
Say less, Say less
I know the sky a roadmap, and the world my treasure chest
So say less, oh, Say less, oh
I know you reaching for it I'm just hoping you won't fall so say less
You in a prison full of 'ism's that's America
They treat your vision like they pissing in your area
Give you the symptoms of a sickness they created, what
And I been tripping, got so distant from the girl I want
And I been traveling along the front
Got a pack of kush, with the shells for the blunt
Dylan tripping off the molly, he seeing stars while I'm falling
Can't accept myself if I'm honest, ain't been the same since college
I hit my head and could've lost my life
Singing "What's the Use", but I'm here right now
Let's celebrate, candles on the cake
She finna throw me cakes, but I'm staying late
Writing songs about a girl I want to lay with
Woke up, four AM and we naked
All my skills I've demonstrated, but the way I feel, yeah I know she fakes it
Told her "Lie to me if you don't love me, I just need you now, girl keep me company"
Said I keep trying, I keep trying, but I ain't getting far
I took my time and did the steps so I can climb to the stars
But it ain't worth it, still looking for a purpose
too busy working, to explore the Earth so
Say less, Say less
I know the sky a roadmap, and the world my treasure chest
So say less, oh, Say less, oh
I know you reaching for it I'm just hoping you won't fall so say less
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14. |
||||
Let me take you way back to the days
When I rode my bike down Hickory Lane
Got Dairymens tea with a dollar and some change
Then banged on my drums for my teenage angst
Got a lot of hate, 'cause I ain't the same
Used to want to leave the Earth 'cause of all the pain
Trying to tell myself that I wasn't to blame
For the way I'm made, I found love in change
I'm trying to be better than I was before
I'm trying to be stronger, I'm a train of course
Bucket list, trying to see a worldwide tour
I gotta do my chores, I got to learn some more
Ready if I'm steady I be shaking a lot
When I'm nervous hope you know this and you take it to heart
I been trying to build anew, guess I need a new start
If you do your part, like I do my part then we're good
Hey hey it's okay, all this pain is gonna fade
Take your time and get your space I know one day you'll find your way
Hey, Hey, it's okay, show the world that we don't play
Yeah I know this life is fate so take the lead and we'll be great
I know there's so much out there for the world to see
Beyond all of the hate and this hypocrisy
Until then I'm a find a way to fly away
See the world and leave this place, see the universe I'm free
I just got to get out
I just got to go, pack a bag
Iced tea, time to hit the road
Never really had a home, only had a heart
Eyes dart to the board, trying to hit the bulls eye
I landed in the storm, matter fact a war
Looking trying to find quite what I fight for
Found myself two hours in a night course
Thinking I should have a job by now
Not living with my mom right now
I should have a hit song by now
That would really be the bomb right now
That would really put me on right there, truth
So I gotta move along just like you
So no matter what we do
And that's to, fly away
Hey hey it's okay, all this pain is gonna fade
Take your time and get your space I know one day you'll find your way
Hey, Hey, it's okay, show the world that we don't play
Yeah I know this life is fate so take the lead and we'll be great
I know there's so much out there for the world to see
Beyond all of the hate and this hypocrisy
Until then I'm a find a way to fly away
See the world and leave this place, see the universe I'm free
I'm free, like a butterfly flying to the ocean but the pain too deep
So relatable the things we see
I'm just hoping they don't haunt my memories, no
Keep me above the floor 'cause it creaks
Everybody see you but don't understand your strength
When I'm feeling weak, that depression finna creep
Finna go fill the bowl, waiting 'till them demons leave, yeah
Still breathing, while reeling
That trauma got me numb to the feeling
Exhale, let the smoke hit the ceiling
Crying in my kitchen all alone, what's the reason
You been fighting on a war so long
The pain feel deep, but you coming out strong
And if they finna tell you that you doing this wrong
Laugh in they face and then move along, yeah
Hey hey it's okay, all this pain is gonna fade
Take your time and get your space I know one day you'll find your way
Hey, Hey, it's okay, show the world that we don't play
Yeah I know this life is fate so take the lead and we'll be great
I know there's so much out there for the world to see
Beyond all of the hate and this hypocrisy
Until then I'm a find a way to fly away
See the world and leave this place, see the universe I'm free
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15. |
Peace
03:41
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Passed out on the couch I'm slumped
Jam on Bandcamp I'll bump
With the homies trying to find a way
I know we're great, we gotta find our pace
We got to make the space, and then take the space
We got to grow together, no falling grace
I know it ain't a race but I'm so displaced
It don't feel right to be gone from the place that I know as home
When in Rome, it's time to get off that cell phone
And go explore, man this world is yours
I know you know there's so much here in store
You gotta take what's yours and get up off the floor
Open up the door, and then fly to the sky
What's next for you, you gotta find the truth
You got to get ready and strap up for the ride
I gotta find that vision
I want to slow down, but that ain't my mission
Let me come back down and get back to the kitchen
Whip up some dishes 5 star for the feeling
I gotta find that vision
I want to slow down, but that ain't my mission
Let me come back down and get back to the kitchen
Roll up the tree and then break the ceiling, we winning
And I'm tired of running, hiding
Trying to get back on the groove
I'm finding peace, it's you and me
Don't let it fall in between the seams don't lose your dreams
It is what it is, you can wait and see
And maybe in time you'll find your peace
And maybe in time you'll find you're free
You don't need them trees to go and fly
Just jump on the train, baby go and I'll
Meet you, let me reach you
Show you how to live peaceful
We'll fly past the stars and find who we are
Whatever you want, the universe is ours
Whatever we come to be
Just know you've always been free
And now I'm back on the Earth again
I'm trying to go find my worth again
Fuck this hell, I couldn't even tell
What they wanted from me and now I'm feeling lonely
Need a girl by my side to experience, so the life I live don't feel meaningless
But it ain't the move, I got a message too
That's telling me I need to go and get the proper tools
I don't need the tools to be great
My life got purpose, I'm seeing as of late
And if they don't see it now, I'll get off the ground
And cock back all my fists in their face
I'm wondering what's next right here in the race
I want to see it now, I got to move with haste
I'm wondering if I had scratched the surface, 'cause if I did then it's already worth it
And I'm tired of running, hiding
Trying to get back on the groove
I'm finding peace, it's you and me
Don't let it fall in between the seams don't lose your dreams
It is what it is, you can wait and see
And maybe in time you'll find your peace
And maybe in time you'll find you're free
You don't need them trees to go and fly
Just jump on the train, baby go and I'll
Meet you, let me reach you
Show you how to live peaceful
We'll fly past the stars and find who we are
Whatever you want, the universe is ours
Whatever we come to be
Just know you've always been free
Just know you've always been free, yeah
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Fanaticus Chicago, Illinois
Honest, raw, versatile, & thoughtful: These words are what defines Fanaticus. Based in Chicago, Fanaticus makes what he calls “life music” to express the complex thoughts & emotions most people struggle to communicate, inspired by the highs & lows of it all. His ear for music is impeccable. With a background in classical and jazz, Fanaticus is a true student of the craft and it shows in his music. ... more
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